Whales
by Flying Turkies
Summary: AU::Don't drink, or you may just find yourself on a whaling ship full of men and liquor. What a wonderful day to be a hemophobic alchoholic.


_**WHALES**_

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"Men, we need more men."

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**P.**rologue

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"Gimme some ale."

A not-so-sober young lady sat at the bar of the town's most notoriously decrepit tavern, contemplating why there wasn't a mug full of ale in her hands yet. The bartender was nowhere to be found, much to her chagrin. She really felt like getting wasted- well, she already was, but it seemed to her that she wouldn't be content until her small body took all of the alchohol it could take. Life was hard, that was for sure. Her employer decided to be a complete ass and fire her, her mother kept nagging her about her addiction to God's gift to the downtrodden, and the rent was just too damn high. Although, despite being the Universe's new playtoy, she could still enjoy a few cups of liqour at the end of the day. Speaking of which: "I said give me some goddamned ale!"

Peering over the edge of the bar, the young lady looked for the Inn's propriotor. Seeing that he was nowhere to be found, she jumped over the rotten strip of wood and opened the door to the backroom, "Hatake, there better be a damned good reason that there is not a bloody cup of ale in my hand" she slurred, waving her empty mug in front of the barkeep's face. The young drunkard wasn't too close to Kakashi Hatake, despite visiting his tavern every evening for the past three years. Perhaps it was because they mostly kept to themselves, or maybe it was because she always passed out after the second drink. However, they were acquainted well enough to be on a name-to-name basis with each other. As far as he knew, at least.

"Yo." casually replying, he turned away from the two burly men behind him. Kakashi Hatake was a rather friendly man and the owner of the morally decrepit, structure-lacking inn and bar. Although he was a somewhat honest, he never missed an opportunity to make some easy money. "What can I do for you, Hatsunaru?"

"It's-" she hiccuped, "-Haruno! No... wait, my name is Hatsuharu! Hatsuharu... Nakamura, you bastard." She sipped from the empty mug in her hand, swinging it away from her face vigorously when he remembered she had consumed the contents earlier. "What I want to know is why there is no goddamned bartender behind the fucking bar to serve me a goddamned mug of ale!" the mug went in a lurry above her head as she waved it from side to side, displaying the glass cup in its alchohol-less glory.

"Okay, calm yourself down. Actually, we were just talking about that. Care for a crate?" the silver haired barkeep pushed an empty wooden crate her way. Groaning loudly, she took the invitation and plopped herself down.

"Now, I know this is going to sound harsh, but you need a job. You haven't payed for a single mug in over a month, and you always stay the night. You know what this means, right?"

The fake Hatsuharu Nakamura was slumped sideways against the wall, not completely attention, "Sure, Cap'n." she muttered.

"So, if you come here about every night, have two mugs of ale and stay until the next morning, and you haven't payed me a single cent in over a month, that puts you in about thirteen hundred dollars in debt. Now, being the friendly master of the house that I am, I have decided to find you a nice job on a whaling ship to help you pay off your debt." the price might have been a bit skewed, but Kakashi Hatake was not above high interest rates. He had to make a living somehow; especially since his tavern was practically falling to pieces.

"Mm-hmm..." the young debtor started to doze off, the alchohol finally taking its effect.

"Gentlemen, if you will."

One of the thugs in the room opened a book, the boat's ledger, and jabbed a finger at an empty space, the other presenting an ink pen to the drunkard, "Sign here, you'll be receiving 1/160th of what the ship makes. Welcome to the Teppei, ya lightweight." he grumbled.

"Yeah, sure." she said sleepily, taking the pen and signing her name in a very messy manner. A black void met her eyes as she passed out, and she slid to the floor.

The thug holding the ledger peered at her signature, "Hold on, this can't be right. You mind signin' for the bloke instead?" handing it to Kakashi, pointing a thick finger at the recent addition.

The barkeep obliged and took the ledger, "Sakura Haruno?" he questioned. The thugs presented a nod as a response, and Kakashi shook his head, "Tch, the lightweight. Hopefully this'll knock some sense into him." he quickly scrawled 'Haruhatsu Nakamura' into the next available space and handed the ledger and pen back to the thug he had taken it from. "Don't let him near any alchohol, he'll and up sleeping through the voyage. I would like to get back the money he owes me sometime soon."

"We'll just throw 'im overboard. Got no use for drunken sailors, mate." the ledger-keeping thug nodded back to Kakashi as the other sailor swung the debtor over his shoulder.

Nodding back nervously, Kakashi sat and stared at the exiting trio in shock. Just what the Hell had he gotten Hatsuharu into? At least he was getting payed. He thought it quite the clever move on his part.

However, it was a terrible day to be a cross dresser with a debt.

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_**sakura haruno**__. welcome to the __**teppei.**_


End file.
